Heaven is Far Away

On Sunday afternoon Blake was napping, Mylie was having quiet time in her room, Jeff was watching a movie and I had dozed off on the couch. Suddenly I hear Mylie crying, not just crying, but sobbing. I jumped off the couch and ran into her room. She was sitting on the floor next to her bed just sobbing, her poor little body was shaking. She didn't appear to be hurt and I asked her what was wrong, but she could hardly talk. I gathered her up and we went into the living room and snuggled in the chair. She got her bearings enough to tell me that she was listening to her primary songs and one of the songs was singing about how Heaven is far away and it made her sad.

Apparently it made her really sad, it probably took me 45 minutes to get her calmed down. She would calm down for a bit, then just start to sob again. It made me wonder ... do little children remember Heaven? Do they remember being in Heavenly Father's presence? If they do, they must miss it immensely. I know our homes are supposed to be a Heaven on earth and a haven, but lately our home feels more like a zoo then like Heaven.

I've been thinking so much about parenting lately. Perhaps because I'm having some parenting struggles. Perhaps because being a parent is hard. Perhaps because I don't get how I can love my kids with reckless abandon one minute and be so emotionally and mentally taxed by them the next. In fact, today I got in the car and just sat there and cried for 20 minutes. No reason, nothing happened, I just feel so blasted emotional the last few days. I just want to be a good mom. I just want my kids to know without a doubt how much I love them. I just want our home to be peaceful, to feel more like Heaven ....