Can I just say ...

... that I really cannot believe that Blake is almost one! It blows me away. This last year (and longer) has been full of so many things and changes. I feel like I am just starting to walk out from a fog and see sunshine. Its a beautiful thing. I've been nervous to think it out loud for fear of jinxing myself, but it seems like finally this cloud of postpartum depression that has followed me for the last 4 years is lifting. I actually have tears streaming down my face, but they are happy tears, like this feeling that things are going to be OK.


It is something I am pretty open about it, because most people aren't. People don't talk about it, about what it does to them or how it makes them feel. New moms don't know it is coming and then feel terrible that they are miserable when they should be happy. I don't even think doctors really know how to treat it (at least in my experience). But please know, it does get better, the sun does shine again.

And because they make me so happy that somedays it feels like my heart may burst ...