Home.

Today we packed up the last few boxes at the Star house.  We have been living in our new home for a few weeks now, but needed one last afternoon to finish the odds and ends that happen at the end of a move.  We got there and got right to work.  I cranked up some good music on my iPhone, and packed up the last little bit.  Jeff and the kids raked all the leaves in the front and back.  After a few hours, we were done.  Jeff and the kids were taking the garbage out and I sat down on the staircase and looked at the empty house.

I remembered a night, nearly twelve years ago, when I sat on the same staircase and looked at the same empty house.  That was the beginning of our story.  Jeff and I were engaged and had closed that morning on the house.  It was the first house we looked at in our house hunting.  We fell in love with it and knew that was where we wanted to start our life together.  The next day we would be moving all my stuff in, and then Jeff would move in after the wedding.  I was meeting him at the house after work that day.  Jeff got stuck in traffic so I sat there on that staircase for quite a while imagining what this house might hold for us.

That moment came back to me today as I sat on the same steps and started to weep.  Our home held so much for us.  The memories, as well as the tears, began to cascade as I thought back to bringing both Mylie and Blake home from the hospital, Christmases, birthdays, first steps, kids learning to ride bikes in the cul de sac, scraped knees, celebrating career success, rocking and nursing my babies, new puppies, visits from family, celebrating with family after our Temple sealing, visits from great-grandparents, movie nights, planting trees, running through the sprinklers, playing in the snow, sitting on the front porch holding hands, backyard BBQs, changing diapers, hosting Thanksgivings, baking cookies, smelling the lilacs, the list went on and on.  I thought about how our home had comforted us during sad times such as when we struggled with infertility, losing my grandma and recently my grandpa, terrible postpartum depression, financial and career woes, suffering a miscarriage, and the ups and downs of everyday life.

Through our entire marriage, our little house in Star has been our constant.  It has provided refuge from the wind, the rain, and the sun.  It has provided refuge from hard days at work and hard days of life.  Within its walls, Jeff, Mylie, Blake and I became a family.  There is a lot of love in that little house.

Jeff and the kids came in and we decided to have one last family prayer at the house.  I won't lie, there were a lot of tears from all of us (except for from Blake - who just kept saying, "What's everyone crying about?!"). In his prayer, Jeff asked that this house would mean as much to whoever buys it as it meant to us.  I hope so.  I hope that little house in Star continues to have a lot of love in it.

The Star house is where our story began, but of course is not where it ends.  Our new home is a wonderful, exciting chapter in our lives and we love it already.  And although I don't foresee bringing any new babies to this house, I do look forward to our kids growing up here, to their friends coming over, to holidays and birthdays.  I look forward to family and friends visiting, to entertaining, and to making new friends in our neighborhood.  I look forward to graduation parties and maybe someday, wedding receptions in the backyard.  I look forward to sitting on the front porch with Jeff, holding hands, talking about our days, and waiting for our grandchildren to come visit.  I look forward to filling this house with love too.