On Marriage ...

I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately.  Perhaps because I feel blessed to be in such a wonderful marriage.  And though it will be years before I give advice on this topic to my own children, I feel like I want to remember some very important thoughts about marriage that I have had recently.  

1. BE KIND.  The world is not always a kind place.  Jeff works with the public everyday and I know that many of those days are not fun.  Our home and our marriage should be a safe place for him.  I truly believe that of all the people in the world, the person we should always be the nicest to is our spouse.  My mom once said, "it is better to be kind than right," and I wholeheartedly believe that.   
2. FRONT & CENTER.  Our family is busy (just like many others).  Our kids are in school and in sports.  In addition to work, Jeff is in grad school, coaches Blake's soccer team, and takes Brazilian Jui-Jitzu classes.  I work full-time, volunteer at the kids' schools, and try to keep up on my hobbies.  When life gets crazy, it is very easy for me to put Jeff on the back burner.  Do you know why?  Because I  know he'll still be there.  Of course that isn't fair.  Although it is easiest to  take for granted the people we love the most, it isn't fair.  Our spouses need to be kept front and center. 
3. LAUGH.  Oh how I love laughing with Jeff.  Everyday we find something to laugh about.  Sometimes it is a Seinfeld or Arrested Development reference.  Oftentimes it is one of our kids.  And I'll admit that we aren't above 7th-grade-boy fart jokes.  But I love laughing with him.  I love that we have about 7219 inside jokes.  I love that sometimes we can tell an entire joke just by making eye contact.  
4. BE A TEAM.  One of my friends recently told me how she loves that Jeff and I are a team.  I thought about it and she is right.  We are a team - a team raising our kids, a team in reaching our goals, a team of us against the world.  There is nothing like having a teammate.  I am glad that I get to be Jeff's teammate.  
5. BE A CHEERLEADER.  I feel so lucky that I have wonderful parents, spectacular siblings, and AMAZ-ing girlfriends.  I know I can talk to them about anything.  And we do.  However, one thing I don't do, and won't do, is talk negatively about my husband to my friends or my family.  My job is to be his biggest cheerleader.  When a football team is struggling on the field, the cheerleaders don't yell insults to the team or start talking to the crowd about how poorly the team is doing.  No, in fact, if the team is struggling, the cheerleaders cheer louder.  So it is with our marriages.  My job is to support Jeff, to build him up, to believe in him.  Just as he does for me.  Being a good spouse is being a cheerleader. 

I feel very lucky that I had a great example of marriage in my parents.  I want Jeff and I to be an example for our kids.